Tailor-Made for Twenty-Two

Well, I’m 22. I remember turning 11 and being so excited because age 10 was double digits but age 11 was double digits of the same number! I remember thinking that wouldn’t happen again for 11 more years when I turned 22 and it seemed forever away! Now here I am, and 11 years went by way to fast!

My birthday this year was very unique for a few different reasons. It was the first birthday I have spent away from my immediate family, and it was on Easter which was also the first Easter I have spent away from my immediate family. I was able to spend it with the Capps family though which was really nice. There is just a different feel when you are relaxing with family, especially when you haven’t seen any known relative in almost 4 months! (which is the longest I’ve ever done that before since I’ve always at least had cousins around at school or been close enough to visit home) I was also able to skype with all of my family that had gotten together for Easter in Cody and everyone sang happy birthday to me. It made me so sad that I couldn’t be there but so grateful that they are all in my life!

The Friday before Easter however, I was able to celebrate with my good friend Delina. Her birthday was the 22nd and so we got a group together for a fun day trip to Columbia State Park to celebrate both of our birthdays. I love all of my friends here, they have become my family! We had so much fun, Delina and I had to make candles since it was our birthday celebration, but what we wanted to do most was take an old fashioned photo. I think it turned out pretty sweet! The whole day was great and it was probably one of my most memorable birthday celebrations.

Beyond all of the activities though, my favorite part of my birthday was the fact that it was on Easter. Due to the bike accident my dad was in, and my own personal study and preparation throughout the past couple of months, I have really been pondering the value of life and what a gift it is. My testimony has been strengthened on the significance of families as they are our purpose and means of gaining exaltation. With this has also come a deeper understanding of the importance of the atonement as it is the only way that we can fulfill the full measure of our creation and even have hope. It was very unique to be able to celebrate the day of my birth on the day that we remember the event which gives life meaning, direction, and joy. Without my Savior’s sacrifice, my life would be empty and without hope. It is because I have a powerful Savior that I am able to live a full life and build relationships with the many, many people in my life. It is through the enabling power of the atonement that I am where I am, and that I am thriving!

So, as another year of my life is beginning I am committing now to make it a great one. There is so much to be excited about, and I know that the past 21 years have been preparing me for now. My life has been no accident, and I want to remember to make each moment deliberate. Who knows what the next year has in store for me, but if the past 21 years have been any sort of indicator, it’s going to be absolutely incredible. Bring it on!

Bring on the Rain!

Lately I have been pondering quite a bit about being. A talk that really inspired me during the most recent general conference was by Lynn G. Robbins entitled “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?” Then the weekend after general conference I was able to go to Time Out for Women in Fresno with 4 amazing women. The weekend was hilarious (I’m pretty sure I got the ab work out of the year from laughing so hard!) and inspiring; the theme was “Choose to Become” Coincidence? I think not!

So I was sitting at Time Out for Women wondering why this theme keeps showing up and wondering how to perfectly express who I am striving to be. I have a mirror in my room where I have written about 20 I am statements that express who I want to be. Like I am loved, I am witty, I am abundance etc. But how could I possibly tie all of these things together? Was it possible to wrap who I am and who I want to be up into one little neatly wrapped package? Then Hilary Weeks got up and sang a song. (By the way, I totally LOVED Hilary Weeks! This is a picture of me and my friends with Hilary.)


It was like I got hit with a bolt of lightning! The song was about dancing in the rain and that is exactly what my heart and mind started to do as I sat under my inspirational storm cloud. I wanted to stand up and shout I AM A DANCING IN THE RAIN KIND OF GIRL! It fit so perfectly! Anyone who knows me knows how much I love to dance, and my family can attest to the fact that dancing in the rain is something that I will participate in on a regular basis given the opportunity. In fact, it was raining pretty hardcore in Modesto about 2 weeks ago so naturally I suited up to dance in it! I made my roommate take pictures :) There is literally a stream of water falling on my head from the rain gutter in this one!
However, this isn’t just about literally dancing in the rain. One of my favorite sayings is that life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain. Life is full of storms, and I truly believe that it isn’t the condition we’re in that brings us happiness, but how we respond to the conditions. I like to think that I am brave enough to face the storms and still stand, but I don’t want to just be left there standing. I want to dance in the rain until my fears are washed away. I want to be the girl who, after the storm has passed, is sopping wet, sore, out of breath, rubbing the calluses on my feet, and thanking the rain for letting me practice some sweet dance moves and gracing my life with a beautiful rainbow. So pretty much what I'm trying to say is, I'm a dancing in the rain kind of girl, so bring it on!

The Secret of Life

I finally did it, I discovered the secret of life: a good toothpaste. Although random and seemingly insignificant, I believe that your toothpaste can make all the difference. I've heard the saying, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" but that can only go so far. In order to make lemonade you need sugar, and quite honestly, sometimes the lemons life hands you is a little too much junk in the trunk if you catch my drift... so PLEASE no more sugar! Instead of making the lemons sweet, I say eat them (I happen to like lemons... and they balance the pH in your system... they're quite healthy actually) and then brush your teeth so you can move on.

Truly though, have you ever wondered why the saying "you have a bad taste in your mouth" is so popular? If something makes you sick to your stomach and you want to upchuck you're gonna get a bad taste in your mouth. If you say something negative or put your foot in your mouth (gross) you're gonna have a bad taste in your mouth. So the solution? Clean your mouth with a good toothpaste. A smile can brighten any day, so brighten your smile! Sometimes, the only difference between feeling like a grease ball and feeling attractive is a simple brushing of the teeth. So throw out the chocolate, ice cream, and anything else that you'll regret eating later and invest in some great toothpaste. See this? This is a girl who just brushed her teeth with a fabulous toothpaste... Yes folks, it's that simple.

(this photo was by Brother Sieverson at a tri-branch dance... I rocked that place, in case you were wondering)

My Spoiled Self Confidence

My main love language is words of affirmation. I show that I love you by letting you speak, and responding positively to you. In that same way, it is how I feel loved. Lately I’ve been pondering this as I’ve come to realize that I have been so spoiled because, this is the first time ever that I don’t have a physical support group around me (in my home or next door) that I can talk to about my day or share my random thoughts as I remember them or as they happen. It’s true that I have friends and family that are just a phone call away, but it’s not quite the same. It’s not necessarily a bad thing either, just an adjustment. I’ve come to realize that I get a lot of my self-esteem off of others reaction to me. When I don’t receive a reaction, I start to question. My family often asks me where I got my confidence, well it’s from them and the knowledge that they knew me and loved me, quarks and all, despite my weaknesses! So with this knowledge as my foundation, now is my chance to prove to myself that I’m amazing just the way I am, and I’m not losing that just because I’m unable to express it every hour of every day the way I’m used to. They say actions speak louder than words, and I’m getting a chance to practice more on the action part, without the audience. I’m gonna be me for me, because I think me is pretty awesome. So you can call me vain if you want, but be warned: I don’t think you really believe it, I just think you’re jealous :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk

Introducing my Therapist: The Ocean

Today was national escape day. My first thought when I saw this was that if I had known earlier and it wasn’t a Sunday, I would have gone to the ocean. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a great love for the ocean. It wasn’t until I was there trying to find an escape and scrape my life back into some sort of recognizable blob that I realized why. There is a healing power and relief that is found in the ocean. It provides a calm, stillness without the lonely silence. The ebb and flow of the tide is constantly changing, but strangely constant. The beauty and wonder of it all seems to seep into your soul until you are filled with such gratitude that everything else seems to fade in importance.

My favorite part though, was standing in the waves. I could pour my heart out, and even shed a few tears. The ocean would listen and wash up to me to gather my tears and fears, then take them out to sea only to return again and replace them with peace and comfort. Life makes sense at the ocean, because it brings you back to the basics. It reminds you to breathe, to feel, and to flow. It is a physical reminder that I have a powerful Savior who is more powerful than my weaknesses, my fears, and my sorrow. That He is in every detail of my life, and He gives me the strength to stand when on my own I could only crawl. So in a way, the ocean is my therapist. He reminds me that I don’t need to escape, I just need to remember.

And so it begins...

Harmony- I have never before contemplated the power and truth that this word holds for me, nor been so grateful to have been awarded this name as a 16 year old girl at girl's camp. Now, nearly 6 years later, Harmony has become my muse. It is the power regarded as inspiring to me. When I think of harmony, I think of the music that moves with and adds to the main line of music known as the melody. Without a harmony, music can be boring, predicatable, and without emotion. It is the harmony that adds life, excitement, accord, unity, peace, emotion, and growth. My life is full of examples of deviating from the melody. My life never seems to go as planned which has been frustrating to me, but I have been learning that it is in in my ability to flow with the changes to create something even more beautiful than I could have originally anticipated that I find success and happiness. That beings said, this blog is not going to be filled with definitions or examples of harmony itself. Rather, it is going to be filled with entries of a musing girl who is striving to add life, excitement, accord, and peace ot her life and yours; a girl who is striving to be her namesake. It is about me: I am Harmony.